Anger: Need To Avoid The Irreparable!

It is becoming increasingly difficult to understand the society due to the attitudes that many adopt. Day-in-day-out, horrible stories are told and scary scenes of people either attempting to do away with others’ lives or those being sent to prison because of erratic actions. Whether as fleeting annoyance or as full-fledged rage, anger is a completely normal, usually expression of human emotions. But when it gets out of control and turns destructive, it can lead to problems at work, in personal relationships, and in the overall quality of life. Handling character excesses can be an important life skill. Counsellors and some experts report that 50 percent of people who go for counselling have problems dealing with anger. Anger can shatter communication and tear apart relationships, and ruin both the joy and health of many. 
Sadly enough, some people tend to justify their anger instead of taking responsibility for their behaviour. Everyone struggles, in varying degrees, to deal with anger. Without being exhaustive, a few recent cases of excesses in venting out frustration that have kept many wondering about the level to which some people can go in taking revenge have been, to say the least, frightening. Some have even been related in different media outlets in the country. There was the story of a lady who pushed the 14-year-old child of her co-wife down a third-story building on accusations that the child made away with her money which was less than FCFA ten thousand. Another report talked of a married person, building at a work site still in Douala who battled with his staff over a going after a lady preparing food for them at the building site. In an attempt to demonstrate his anger over the idea of his subordinate taking the upper hand in going out with the girl, the boss, although married decided to push his rival down a three-story structure! Smart enough, the subordinate hung on his dresses and both of them went on the ground. Results! Fractured limps and multiple dislocations on their bones. These are just a few instances of how far people are ready to go just to portray anger and take revenge. The irreparable damages that such uncontrolled fits of anger can cause are huge. 
To avoid the irreparable, there is need for a self-mastery as a vital check. According to Charles Spielberger, a psychologist specialized in the study of anger. Like other emotions, “Anger is accompanied by physiological and biological changes; when you get angry, your heart rate and blood pressure go up, as do the levels of your energy hormones, adrenaline, and noradrenaline. Anger can be caused by both external and internal events. You could be angry at a specific person (such as a co-worker or supervisor) or event (a traffic jam, a cancelled flight), or your anger could be caused by worrying or brooding about your personal problems.” Similar situations do exist within our context where people struggle with everyday challenges and survival concerns. 
Yet, it cannot be proper to quickly send out physically lashes at every person or object that irritates or hurt. Laws, social norms, and common-sense place limits on how far anger can take anyone in society. People use a variety of both conscious and unconscious processes to deal with their angry feelings. The three main approaches are expressing, suppressing, and calming. Expressing angry feelings in an “assertive not aggressive manner” is the healthiest way out.  Anger can be suppressed, and then converted or redirected. Unexpressed anger, according to many experts, can create other problems. It can lead to pathological expressions actions, such as passive-aggressive behaviour (getting back at people indirectly, without telling them why, rather than confronting them head-on) or a personality that seems perpetually cynical and hostile. People who are constantly putting others down, criticizing everything, and making cynical comments have not learned how to constructively express their anger. Abuse can take the form of name-calling, belittling, hitting, or otherwise causing harm to the other person. When it goes too far and is not controlled, it can result in verbal, emotional, or physical abuse. No form of abuse is acceptable in a relationship...



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